Saturday, May 16, 2015

Chemo Sucks...Just Saying!!!

Jon finished his first round of chemo this past Sunday night, Mother's Day.  When he went on chemo the first time in 2012 after the initial recurrence, the oncologist told us 95% of patients do very well on Temodar with little to no side effects.  Jon did okay during the first two rounds, but the third round, my birthday weekend, kicked his butt.  Let me share how it works...For five nights, Jon has to stop eating for at least and hour before getting the meds.  One half hour before taking chemo he takes anti-nausea meds.  Then, I put on latex gloves (the chemo poison cannot to come in contact with skin) and place the pills one by one in Jon's mouth.  Twenty-three days later he does it all over again.  That third, butt-kicking round changed everything.  A few hours after swallowing the pills, Jon woke up violently ill.  It was awful.  Really awful.  Gut wrenchingly awful.  To see him so sick, fearful, overwhelmed...  Then, a knock on the bathroom door and two scared, small children standing together asking what was wrong with Daddy.  A snapshot etched in my mind forever.  Jon threw up for the next several hours.  I called Sloan to find out what to do.  Wait.  Wait till he stops vomiting.  Wait till he can keep the anti-nausea meds down again.  Wait till the hell that was this moment in our lives stopped.  It felt like an eternity.  It wasn't, but it felt like it.  That moment changed our lives and the "chemo process".  With nine rounds still to go, our routine changed.  Jon and I spent each one with a bucket close by, sleeping downstairs.  He despised chemo, becoming depressed a few days before and feeling sick for many days after.  It was a struggle just to feed him, keep him hydrated and help him stay positive.  Well, here we are again.  Jon's mindset going into surgery was positive this time around, but chemo remains a daunting task.  He has six rounds.  The first one already brought on nausea and appetite issues.  For me, the most painful part is watching Jon try to prepare himself to swallow those horrid pills.  The struggle to get them down, the fear etched in his face, the way it impacts the whole family.   The psychological, emotional and physical challenges are exhausting yet he knows there is no choice.  So he does it.  We do it.  Those moments late at night, when it's just the two of us against the chemo are some of the toughest.  But together, we are stronger.

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