The Concert.

So the spring concert at school exceeded my expectations on thursday night. The new tux that we bought in the fall does not fit at the moment and we had to piece together an appropriate outfit. I did my best not to be too upset with myself and kept my focus on the fact that no one was really going to care about the steroid weight I'd gained but only that I was able to be there so soon after brain surgery.

The students performed very well. I enjoyed every minute I was conducting them. I wasn't too nervous prior to the concert, but it did hit me during the performance. My legs and arms got a little shaky and I wondered if I would need a stool to sit on to get through, but I got through without it. Although I felt the energy from the audience that they wanted to hear from me in regards to what I had been through, I didn't want this night to be about me. For many of the students, this was their last time performing in high school and I wanted to keep the focus on them and all of the students who had worked hard all year. I also realized that I couldn't just ignore the fact that everyone knew what had been going on over the past 6 weeks or so and I did make reference to it, but kept it brief which also helped me not to get too emotional. The seniors gave me a beautiful gift and I will miss them all as they start a new chapter in their journey.

Probably the most notable experience that night did not happen in the auditorium. I met a former student in the band room who came to visit and say hello. I had recently heard a little about some major health issues that he had been battling and I was interested in hearing how he was doing. Rich has a tumor on his upper spine that is causing him tremendous pain. He went to Memorial Sloan-Kettering and they found that the tumor would not be able to be removed due to the location and the risks involved. They put him on some pain killers which don't seem to be helping much at all. It seems that the doctors will be making some decisions about treatment for this tumor, whether it be radiation or chemotherapy. As I've said, I have heard so many stories in the past weeks about what people are going through and I really feel like this is part of the learning process for me. Here is a 20ish year old just starting his life and dealing with this terrible issue. It doesn't seem fair that my issues were stabilized relatively quickly and I have a pretty positive prognosis for the future, but it seems like Rich has a much longer and more difficult journey. Please keep him and his doctors in your prayers.