The Radiation Suite

The "Radiation Suite" at MSKCC is an interesting place.  The decor is soothing and the smiling faces behind the desk welcoming.  Since Jon goes five days per week for six weeks, faces become familiar quickly.  The staff and the patients...there are lots of patients.  There is something comforting about being there.  The glances you receive are filled with knowing and compassion.  Jon may not notice all these things because he is focused on getting through the treatment, battling the anxiety and fighting to stay afloat in the abyss of his diagnosis.  I notice the faces.  I hear the stories.  There is a woman in a sling who falls asleep easily and struggles to get out of her chair when called for treatment.  Her hair is growing back following chemo treatments and the soft-spoken man calling her name sits with her, comforting and assisting as she stands to walk toward her radiation room.  I pray for her.  There is an elderly man in a wheelchair with his adult children.  He can't hear well and at times struggles to breathe, so they pound on his back and call his name.  I pray for them.  There are two women who come with candy and drinks to surprise their friend who has both radiation and chemo.  They laugh and hug and celebrate their friendship.  I pray for them.  There are a husband and wife.  Her bald head is covered and she appears drawn and tired.  Her husband rubs her back and stares into space.  When she leaves for treatment, he slouches in his chair, rubs his face and closes his eyes.  I pray for them.  Those are just a few of the people I see that come in and out of the revolving door of the radiation suite.  They are part of the MSKCC family, our family.  They didn't ask for this.  They don't want it.  They do it because they have no choice.  Some of them may not be alive next year or even next month.  Some of them may finish treatment and never come this way again.  I pray for them because regardless of the outcome, their lives will ever be the same.  I pray for them because I understand.  We are forever changed by this journey, some for better, some for worse.  I pray because that is my power...