1st Week of Treatment

So, Friday I completed the 4th of 30 radiation treatments.  Thus far, it has been uneventful.  When I am brought to the treatment room, I lie down on the table.  Sara, or one of the other techs, guide my head to the table.  They properly position me and place the cast mask over my head and snap it down onto the table.  Although I'm curious as to the function of each part, and will probably ask at some point, there are many moving parts of the big contraption.  They move around my head throughout the treatment.  There's no mistaking, however, the 10, or so, second intervals when the radiation is actually being administered.  It is at these times when I have decided to pray the Hail Mary to myself and visualize a bright white light entering the top of my head and disintegrating the tumor cells.  I have faith that the help I'm praying for is being given, but it is also very comforting to me psychologically, and it gives me something positive to focus on, rather than the side effects that are likely to come over the next several treatments.  I've been told to expect hair loss on the right side of my head, the skin will become very sensitive, dry, and itchy, similar to a bad sunburn.  I may have headaches, and increased fatigue, will almost certainly become an issue.  Although these are short-term effects, I worry most of the longer-term.  Will I notice cognitive deficiencies and how will this effect me?  Even prior to this recent course of treatment, there are times of, what I call, extreme short-term memory issues.  This means that the thought that had entered my brain of what I wanted to do or say is gone in a matter of seconds.  It is very frustrating and embarrassing at times.  Word retrieval can also be an issue, but not as frequent.  Will any of this get worse, and will there be more cognitive effects?  We'll have to wait and see.  Of course, the Doctor and nursing staff give you all of the details , with all of the possible side effects, everyone's experience varies somewhat, so I'll keep praying and hoping for the best....keeping in mind that THE BEST would be that the radiation and Chemotherapy completely kill every remaining tumor cell.

The Chemotherapy drug, Temodar, is no stranger.  I have been through a course of 12 monthly treatments and then another 6.  Although, my oncologist had told me that most people handle it very well...it still sucks.  I am certain that there are MANY other cancer patients that have much worse experiences with their treatments, however, I can only base mine on my own experience.  Temodar is administered in pill form.  It sounds pretty easy, but I hate every second of it.  The recommendation is to stop eating about an hour prior to taking it, take an anti-nausea pill....wait about 30 minutes and then take the Temodar.  This is recommended because sleeping while the drug is most active would help with nausea.  All of this makes sense and isn't a big deal, but the hour or two leading up to it sucks.  Physically and Psychologically swallowing those pills is the worst.  I'm not the best pill taker to begin with, so this is difficult.  When going through the traditional Temodar cycles, I'm given five evenings of pills.  Following this, I'm off for almost a month before the next round.  It's been helpful that I'm able to talk myself through the five nights, by thinking, "ok, only 3 more nights....etc"  During radiation, I am being given the same Temodar, however, the dose is lower.  Sounds great, except I have to take it each and every night.  There's no looking forward to being finished with a round.  The "round" isn't finished until the radiation treatments are.  Worse than that...a month following the radiation, I go back to 6 of the traditional cycles of Temodar.  Needless to say, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around how I'm going to get through this.  We're talking January before this is finished.  It's depressing and I'm having trouble finding something external to focus on to get me through.

JML