Live Like You Were Dying.

First thing's first. Don't forget about the concert for cancer tomorrow night at 7pm at Connetquot High School. All proceeds to benefit cancer research. Also, I will be conducting the wind ensemble in their spring concert this Thursday at 7:30pm. We are first on the program. I didn't expect to be able to do this concert and was ok with that fact, but I have worked hard to get back and I hope the kids have a great concert. See you there!


As I probably wrote at one point, there were a lot of signs and symptoms that led to me being diagnosed with a brain tumor. There were the medical symptoms, but there were some other non-medical signs or messages that I was getting along the way. I remember thinking and even commenting to Sue about a year ago that I wanted to investigate getting one of those disability insurance plans like AFLAC. I just thought, "boy what would happen, if I was unable to work for a long period of time." Remembering that our district and union had made a plan like this available to teachers, I called the district to inquire about it. I guess no one chose to sign up for it when they realized that the cost would not be taken out pre-tax. I wanted to call the union and find out if I could sign-up anyway, but I never followed up.

Another sign was that prior to finding out what was going on with me, I often had a certain song in my head. As a musician, I often have music going in my head, but this was different..and it's usually not a popular tune. Most of you know this and the lyrics, but here they are anyway.


He said I was in my early 40's,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,

[Chorus]

I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.

[Chorus]

Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.

[Chorus]
Sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.


It is said that Tim McGraw wrote this song about his father, Tug McGraw, former Major league Pitcher who had been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor and given 3 weeks to live. He ended up living 9 months. The lyrics in this song say a lot and they have much more meaning to me these days. On the surface it says that when you're faced with imminent death, one would want to experience as much as possible and try to be the best person he can in his final days. The more important message to me is when Tim writes, "Someday I hope you get the chance, To live like you were dyin'.

There were several days initially, when I was convinced that I would not get to walk my daughter down the aisle to get married or would not get to take my son to his first baseball game or even have a catch with him. My thoughts were that, this is going to ruin my family's life. It's still hard today to even write about it. Once we knew that this tumor was treatable and I could live many years with this, my focus began to change. I started to think more of these wonderful lyrics.

What would I do if the prognosis was different. How would I choose to spend my last days. Would I choose to wallow in self pity and ask, why me? No, I would choose to live and enjoy every moment I had left. I would choose to love deeper and speak sweeter and forgive anyone who I had not. The more important thing is that I choose to live this way even with the current prognosis. As I've said, I'm different now and I will think and behave differently than I would have before. And most importantly, I wish that everyone could experience this change i themselves without having to go through what I have.

I'm not into preaching to people about how to live their lives, but I just know how differently I look at things now and I think it's a gift and I wouldn't want to go backward.

So spend $.99 on Itunes and put this song on your ipod and just think about the lyrics as you listen, they're very powerful.