Whistling Willy.

As a pre-teen and teenager who loved music, in particular jazz, I remember spending many hours in my room listening to music and whistling along. I'd even be whistling to the music left over in my head when it was quiet. I'm pretty sure I remember Mom ad Dad referring to me as Whistling Willy from time to time. Because I did it so much, I was a pretty good whistler. I even found that if I could whistle it, I could usually transfer that knowledge over to the saxophone and play that melody on my sax. I spent at least as many hours blowing familiar melodies on the saxophone...most of them the melodies that I was constantly whistling.

Post surgery, I had a major weakness on the left side of my body. Because of the location of the tumor (right side) and the fact that the tumor is resting against the motor cortex of the brain, the work that the surgeons did to remove almost all of it, did some as they described, "temporary damage" to my left side. My left arm and hand had been very numb following the surgery and even more so was the left side of my face. Smiling was how the doctors checked the progress of this. I didn't realize the severity of it, until I did it in the mirror one day and realized that the entire left side of my face was not moving at all. I think Dr. Gutin understood my frustration and fear as during one meeting while on his rounds, he told me "It'll come back, Scout's honor!" I believed him and had total trust in him, but I was definitely concerned.

Over the past 3 weeks, I have seem remarkable progress in the numbness in my arm and hand. At first it was a general numbness and I didn't want anyone touching that hand because it felt like dead meat. As the days passed, feeling started to come back and the general numbness changed to specific spots in my fingers of numbness. It would feel I had a tight rubber band around o finger or two. It wouldn't last long, but it would come back often. Sue had bought me one of those squeeze balls. It was like a balloon that was filled with sand that you can squeeze for stress relief. I found that the more I used this, the better my hand felt. Today, the left arm/hand is pretty much back to normal, however occasionally the entire arm will go totally numb. This will last for 10-20 minutes and then it will go away. It's a very uncomfortable feeling, and I always worry that it won't go away this time.

As far as the face goes, aside from the smiling problem, I have not been able to whistle since the surgery. Sue and I have had a special whistle that we've always used to get each other's attention and I haven't been able to do it. When I try, it just sounds like air...no whistle...very frustrating. As I wrote yesterday, I thought it would be a good idea to go over to school and get my saxophone and try playing a little to get those muscles to engage and I did.

So yesterday afternoon, I put the sax together and started fooling around with it. Unfortunately the experience was difficult for me. First of all, the muscles are so weak, that I felt like a fourth grader who was just learning how to make a sound on the instrument. Air and spit were flying everywhere. How unfair is this? I have a Master's degree in performance where I studied with a world reknown saxophonist and here I am at 35 years old and my skills are gone. The other "problem" is that I have two beautiful children who worship the ground I walk on and when they watched me put my sax together, hey went and got their recorders so they can play along too. The problem with this is that, they play the same very high/loud pitch over and over again. I found it impossible to focus on what I was trying to accomplish because of the noise that I could barely stand. I eventually withdrew to the garage for about 5-10 minutes so that the experience ended in a positive way. I found that the more I played, the better the sound and feeling got. I felt like I was starting to control those muscles just a little bit.

This morning, when Sue and Thomas took Maggie to religion class, I took out the sax again and played for a while. Again, at first, it was very difficult, but quickly improved. Following this experience, I took a shower. While in the shower, something made me want to try to whistle. I couldn't believe what I heard...my whistle was back! When Sue came home...I demonstrated and she seemed impressed. I also checked my smile and it seemed to be better since having played the saxophone. So it seems that this is great therapy for these face muscles. I hope to have my smile and my whistle in great shape very soon!

Dad called and questioned me about my thoughts for mowing the lawn. The weather was questionable, and it will be fr the next several days. If we didn't get it done today, it will be more difficult when it's really long in a few days. I agreed and Dad offered to come over and help. When he arrived, I was just finishing the front. I expected to be able to at least do the front, but was unsure how much of the back I could do before I needed to relax. I felt pretty good after the front, so I continued to the back and ended up doing all of it. The walking felt fine..it was just the bending that I had to do while emptying the bag that caused me some discomfort. I felt very happy that I was able to do all of it on my own...it just means I'm getting more of my life back and soon I won't have to rely on others to help (not that that's a bad thing!)

At about 3:30pm, my co-worker, Greg, his wife, Chrissy and their twin children came over to visit. Sue had been concerned about this visit and if I was really ready for all of this activity. I admit that I was too, but I really wanted to have some visitors. I think I did a great job of enjoying our company and enjoying all of the kids. I was so impressed by Maggie and Thomas. They loved having the babies here and took such great care of them while they were here. We had a nice dinner and dessert and by 7:30 ish, I was definitely ready to crash. Tomorrow, Mom ad Dad are meeting us for church and the maybe some breakfast afterward. I feel like, the more I push myself, the more I can do.

Today was a very good day!