Snap, Crackle, Pop

As time goes by, there have been some indications that healing is taking place. For one thing, my head has been very itchy. Everyone knows that as a wound heals, itching is a common symptom. It's a bit more annoying when the head is involved and a large incision. I just want to scratch it like crazy but don't want to upset the incision site. I've also been managing some mild headaches over the past few days. When you're in the hospital, the nurses are often asking you to rate your pain on a scale of 1-10, where 10 is the worst pain ever. These headaches are only getting to a 1 or 2, and they often go away as quickly as they appear. Most of the time no pain medication (I've been using tylenol) is necessary. My guess is that, as I've been weaned off of the steroids which were used to teat swelling in my head, there has probably been some mild swelling as my body adjusts to the fact that the steroids have been taken away. Either way, the headaches have been very mild and very manageable. A new symptom started a couple of days ago. I started getting a "snap,crackle,pop sound on the right side of my head. It comes and goes and sometimes I don't notice it for several hours. I'm sure there is a lot of healing going on inside of my head at this point and these sounds are probably very normal. Sue called over to the Commack Sloan-Kettering center, to Dr. Nolan's nurse to let them know about these symptoms. As expected, these seem like normal symptoms, but they do want us to keep a record of the headaches as far as when they are occurring, their intensity and duration. Thankfully, there was nothing to record yesterday and I hope this will continue in the coming days.

Going back to work is still going very well. Our band rehearsals have been successful and I'm really looking forward to conducting at the concert next Thursday. My co-workers had the good idea to put my group first on the program, thinking that I might want to leave right after my portion. It's funny, apparently there is all of this drama going on at work within a couple of ongoing situations. my outlook on this stuff has changed a lot over the past month. Even before all of this, I was the type of person that would mostly steer clear of all of this crap and do my own thing, but I would find myself being drawn in and getting upset by it and the people involved. I feel differently now. After this past month, I know what is important. For on thing, I have the best job in the world! I get to work with wonderful young-adults who at times can make you crazy, but they are some of the most caring and appreciative people I have ever met. The cards, letters and messages that I have received have taught me how much of an impact I have had on their lives. There have been small things that I have said or done that I don't necessarily remember, that have made a lasting effect on these people. It has given me a renewed sense of pride, but it has also reminded me of the responsibility of what I do and say to students everyday. With one sentence or less, I can build a person up and I can also tear someone down. We as teachers all have this ability and we need to remember how much influence we have on these kids. Even though it seems like they are not listening to us, they are. Even though they seem disinterested in what we have to say, they ARE interested, and even though they will never admit it, our students need to be praised for their accomplishments and guided and supported through their failures. We hold an amazing power in these people's lives and I hope I never take this for granted again.

(As I've alerted some folks, it seems that since my surgery, the filter that we all have in our brains that tells us, "hey don't say that out loud." or, "If you say this you're going to offed someone" is a little impaired in my brain so beware! You've been warned! :)

As for all of the drama that goes on every day in a school district, I say GROW UP, PEOPLE! Put a period to everything that has happened and move forward. There is no reason that two, or more, adults can't peacefully co-exist and work toward the same goal of effecting the lives of our students. Someone needs to be the bigger person and decide to rise up out of the hole of drama and focus all of their efforts on our students. When you think about it, it's all stupid crap that really doesn't matter. We all have a lot to offer our school and our students need us to get along. They always know when we are not getting along, because they see through our attempts to cover it up. As I move through life, I have found people who can't seem to function without drama in their life. It's like the drama fulfills some kind of need for them. In these situations, I say, Don't fulfill that need for them, rise above it. And frankly, I really don't want to hear about it. I am in a really good spiritual place and I really don't wan to hear the details of the drama that you have chosen to get yourself involved in, so go unload your crap on someone else. Sorry to be insensitive, but I've been faced with my mortality in the past month and I could really care less about this meaningless stuff that takes up so much time and energy, needlessly. I was going to continue my rant into some larger school organizations, one of which I am a part of, who think they are working for me and our students, but care only for a small few and their goal is to make everyone afraid and paranoid, but that filter I was talking about earlier is kicking in and actually yelling at me to stop, so I will!

On a much more positive note, one of my extra-curricular jobs is advisor of our chapter of the TRI-M National Music Honor Society. It's a hard job because our students are so busy with all of the activities they do that we struggle to get anything accomplished in any given year. While I've been away, however, the group has sprung into action. It seems that my experience has inspired these students to put together a benefit concert. They have scheduled several groups from all of the different buildings in the district to perform. Apparently, there will be raffles and other money-making events and all of the proceeds will be donated to cancer research. I am honored to have been the impetus for this event. It once again shows me the impact that I have every day and it reminds me to protect and continually care for the special relationship that I have with my students. It also reminds me of what is important in life. I plan on attending this event, even if it's only for a short time. The even will be held at Connetquot High School in Bohemia on Tuesday, May 12. I would assume that it would be at 7pm, but when I have more info, I will post it.

Remember to keep focused on what's truly important in your own life and to rise above all of the stuff that wants to draw you down into negativity. It's so easy to get drawn in, don't let it happen.